


Une tragédie en bleu

by L_is_tired



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Death, Implied Sexual Content, Multi, OSDD, Past Abuse, Religion, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Transphobia, blu spy is genderfluid and bi, its super glossed over p much, osdd!spy, red spy is trans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 8,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25004470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_is_tired/pseuds/L_is_tired
Summary: The backstory of my interpretation of the BLU Spy, Reichard Champoux. This fic deals with a lot of heavy topics, some of which I've dealt with myself. Reichard is also the host of a system, they have OSDD. I'd like to hope I portray it well, after lots of time, research and questions. If any of the topics I tagged will potentially trigger or harm you, please do not read this.
Relationships: BLU Sniper/BLU Spy, Spy/Scout's mother, spy/sniper
Kudos: 7





	1. March 13th, [REDACTED]

**Author's Note:**

> RED Spy and BLU Sniper are heavily inspired by my friend Aaron's interpretations, who inspired me greatly. You can find some of his lovely art here: https://brass-gears.tumblr.com/

The second twin born, christened Reichard Alexandre, was now around eleven. They stared at themself in the mirror, wearing one of their sister’s dresses. They gave the mirror a twirl, quietly gasping at how it moved. It felt magical. 

[RENÉ] clapped as they grinned. They craved approval, and for the first time since they were quite young, they received it from themself. As the children were collected for dinner, Alice cooed over them.

“[You’re so pretty Rei!! You’re like a princess!]”

“[Really? You think so?]” 

“[We know so!]” [RENÉ] chimed in, striding down the hall. He was always so confident in himself, Reichard was terribly jealous.

The small merriment the children found was struck down by the father’s reaction

“[What are you wearing?]” He demanded

“[A… A dress…]” Reichard mumbled, shrinking back a bit.

“[I knew you’d fail me. You always do.]” Father growled. “[Get out of my sight.]”

“[It was my idea!]” Alice protested, linking arms with her sibling.

“[Well consider yourself both out of the running for taking over the family. Go to your rooms.]”

[RENÉ]’s fear was visible, but what could he do? Make him angrier? Or try to calm him down so he could reconsider. He tried to give the two a reassuring look as they left, defeated.

“[What does that stuffy old man know, anyway? Come along, I learned a new butterfly knife trick!]” Alice clapped, trying to cheer up Reichard.

“[... Am I really always a failure?]” They asked, unsure

“[Not at all!!]” She said, blissfully unaware of the war between their parents back in the dining room.

This was the final straw for mother. She was to be filing for divorce soon. She plans to and would later get as much custody as possible of Alice. That’s the only one she wanted.


	2. August 20th, [REDACTED]

Reichard is now 14. René is becoming a strapping young man after coming out shortly after their twelve birthday. Of course, now that someone’s become a proper successor, what’s the use of keeping Reichard in training anymore? Not that they got much training, anyway. They were little more than a captive in their own home.  They were stir-crazy, clinging onto the maid’s legs when they entered to care for them. They wanted affection, validation,  _ anything. _

But all they got was a friend. Annabelle moved in. She was a maid that stayed and cared for Rei, and Rei sobbed when she wasn’t ‘really there’.

So it was surprising to hear their door open. René. They smiled softly, wrapping him into a hug.

“[W-what did I miss?]” Reichard asked softly, yet their words ached with hunger, ached to hear someone else’s voice for once.

“[Inappropriate jokes, wine, and crime.]” René chuckled softly. His voice is deepening and cracking like Rei’s. It hurts to listen to.

“[... They spoke about me, didn’t they?]”

René pulled away “No, no! [I swear, they w… They missed you.]” He lied. They always spoke about them in jest, a freak. A failure. Not really their father’s, how could they be? They were a coward. René’s only option was to laugh along and suffer Alice’s glares.

“[Oh, how nice.]” They play along with the lie. They both know better. Father told his underlings that Reichard had died on their first mission. Not many attended the funeral. They attended it. It hurt to see.

“[Oh, Alice brought you a gift!]” He passed over a box to change the subject. Reichard opened it curiously.

It was a brown, curly long wig. They quickly uncovered their mirror and put it on. They looked pretty. They looked… Different…

“[She always knew how to suit you best…]” He commented, admiring their new look.

“[I miss her.]” They sighed, pulling their hair into a ponytail. They let go and the curls bounced. “... René? Could you secure me a maid’s uniform?”


	3. August 21st, [REDACTED]

Annabelle stared at herself in the mirror, twirling the skirt as she practiced her voice and responses. She was poised, quiet, and helpful. She felt beautiful. She was ‘really there’. Reichard couldn’t be happier.

Though Reichard could skip, Annabelle walked gracefully. Her patent leather Mary Janes, another smuggled gift from Alice, complimented her uniform. She blended right in, going into the supplies closet and getting some equipment.

The maids talked in hushed whispers, gossip, and giggles. Rei’s heart soared. A beautiful chorus of voices and busywork, the perfect opposite to their previous situation. All she had to do is say she was a new hire, working to pay off her father’s debt. No one questioned it, most had similar situations. 

She knocked on René’s door before entering, keeping her head down. Annabelle wouldn’t talk to the family, but Reichard wanted to. They wanted to see if he recognized the two friends. Oh, but René doesn’t even know about Annabelle! 

_ “[He’d knew if he visited you more often.]” _ Annabelle spoke up in their shared space, a cozy cabin from a book they managed to sneak into their room without getting caught.

Reichard knew she had felt this way for a while, their minds are connected.  _ “[He was busy, that’s all. He can’t find the time, and that’s okay.]” _

__ Annabelle didn’t respond, she knew better. She didn’t want Rei to hurt any further. So instead she tuned out of her cleaning and gave Rei a hug. They missed the real thing, still, but this was nice.

“[... Are y-]” René’s eyes snapped open in realization “[It’s you!! My god, I almost didn’t recognize you, Rei! That’s amazing-” He beamed, taking her hands and squeezing them.

“[Please call me Annabelle-]” She whispered softly, worried about being caught.

“[Ah, right-]” René stepped back, taking a more serious expression as he imitated his father “[“Welcome to the family, Ms. Annabelle. I trust you won’t disappoint.”]”

Annabelle gave him a polite laugh in response, though it wasn't really funny.


	4. January 9th, [REDACTED]

Reichard is now 18, and Annabelle in her 30s. The mother Reichard didn’t have. She acted as them when René spoke with them. It made them safe, and that’s what’s important to Annabelle. Because of this routine, Annabelle and Reichard begin to learn English, conveniently cleaning when René studied. Annabelle had thawed a bit to René, but their relationship was shaky at best.  
She goes to clean their brother’s room the day after their shared birthday at the usual time, when he’s there and they can speak but he’s gone. Nothing left but a note saying ‘until we meet again, mon cher frère’.  
She crumpled the note in frustration. Of course he would leave. Annabelle could take it, but what about Rei? Were they simply supposed to die here alone? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair he could go without them. It wasn’t fair he could be free. In a fit of rage, she packed up and climbed out of the window. Why bother with a note? No one would miss them. How cruel the world had to been to them, Annabelle hated it.  
They run away to the streets, the noise near foreign to them. How long has it been since they felt the sun? Their skin is pale as snow from their forced reclusion. Collectively they realize a bit too late they only have a bit of money to their name now, what she made as a maid.  
“[Are we going to be okay?]” Rei asked quietly  
“[We’ll make it okay. I’ll make it okay. Do not worry.]” Annabelle promised.  
They hold onto their money and stride to a shop leasing their loft apartment, setting their money on the counter with determination.  
“[I’d like to rent the apartment above, please.]”  
“[... Dear, this… Really isn’t enough.]” The lady at the counter looked up from restocking her mini-shelf. She adjusted the paper surgical mask on her face and frowned.  
“[I-it isn’t?]” She flushed, embarrassed.  
“[Have you… How old are you?]”  
“[Eighteen. Was I supposed to know better?]”  
“[Well, perhaps, but- My niece has difficulties like th- Stop!!]” The lady cried in horror, watching Reichard strike their head against the counter methodically. Upon closer inspection, this young thing looked awful.  
Their eyes have dark, dark circles, their face gaunt and haunted. They’re thin and pale, almost ghostly. They have so many scars and burns on their hands and arms. These details would be covered by René usually, or even Annabelle’s gloves but… He’s gone. They forgot to get them that morning. That wretched liar. He said he’d always be there for them and he lied. It wasn’t fair.  
The lady pulled Reichard close, away from the counter. “Shh… Shhh… [It’s okay. Do you need help?]”  
Reichard sobbed quietly in her arms, nodding. This was the first time in ages they’d been held like this, it… It got to them.  
“[What’s your name, dear?]”  
“[Reichard. … Reichard Champoux.]” They’re not an Alexandre anymore. They can’t carry the name of those people anymore. They have no family. Annabelle will be their mother now.


	5. January 10th, [REDACTED]

Reichard awoke in the bedroom of Marie, the masked lady they had started to come to know. They went to ask if they could take a bath and she said yes.

The hot water drummed on their scalp as they washed their hair and wig. They were pleasantly surprised at how long their actual hair had gotten, about shoulder length. Perhaps they hadn’t been paying attention. They wrapped themself in a towel and stared at the foggy form in the mirror. They wished that they could match that. Nearly formless, obscure. Nothing to know about.

They dressed in some of their actual clothes, hand-me-downs from Red. It made their tired eyes sting from tears of rage. They didn’t fit as well. They were boy clothes. They aren’t a boy. They trimmed their hair into a neat bob and put on sunglasses. This is Iris now, and she’s for Marie. At least, that’s what Iris thought.

She entered the kitchen quietly, her whole self completely new. She had barely even made it into the cabin before taking the reigns so Annabelle could look after Rei. “[Good morning. Can I help you with breakfast?]”

Marie smiled “[I got it, sit down with your coffee dear.]”

She’s already done something wrong. So fast. How could it be? Her first day and she’s already messed up, and everyone will have to find a new home. She failed. She headed outside towards the train station, quickly followed after Marie

“[Reichard, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Where are you going?]”

“[I’m Iris and I’ll be leaving.]” She smiled eerily calmly. Iris doesn’t yet understand that her body is their body, and they can’t live if she dies.

“[I-Iris- No!]” Marie grabbed Iris’s hand and pulled her back home “[W-what’s wrong, you need to talk to me.]”

Iris frowned slightly. So something is wrong when she goes outside to the tracks. Good to know. “[I couldn’t help with breakfast, so I’m a failure.]”

“[N-no, that’s not true at all! I just was about to be finished, that’s all. It’s okay to not help. I appreciate you asking.]”

“[I see. My mistake, sorry.]” Iris bowed her head, disappointed in herself. Marie led her back inside and sat her down with coffee. Marie plated the food, and Iris, noticing the crosses hung on the walls, bowed her head and prayed. Or at least… Looked like it. She half expected someone to talk to her, but nothing happened. Marie joined her.


	6. January 13th, [REDACTED]

It’s Sunday now, and Marie is putting a braid in Iris’s hair before they leave for church.  
“[Marie, will God like me?]” Will God be kind to us?  
Marie giggled, her smile bright and reassuring in the bathroom mirror, it kept Iris from feeling like her eyes would bleed from her reflection. “[I’m sure he will.]”  
“[... So why did he do this to me?]”  
“[Do what? I-... It’s probably all part of his divine plan.]”  
Another who uses cruelty in their plan, Annabelle felt sick. “[In that case, I am grateful. Thank you.]”  
Marie smiled and kissed Iris’s cheek, passing her a beat up bible. Off to church they went.  
It went well for the most part, until Iris bowed to follow prayer and felt her head begin to swim, her vision clouded. She tried to cry out for help before she fell limp. Everyone sounded far away, panicked yelling and cries for ice water. Perhaps she was tainted by demons, Iris mused. Maybe she is a demon and God is punishing her. Maybe that’s why it’s part of god’s plan to hurt her. When her vision and hearing returned, she apologized profusely for ruining Marie’s trip, apologizing for being a demon. Marie scheduled a baptism. In her eyes, it wasn’t too late to help Iris.  
Iris stayed quiet the ride home, curled up in her seat.  
“[Do your hands really burn touching the bible?]”  
Iris supposed that saying yes would make Marie happy, so she nodded. It hurt to see Marie frowned at this answer  
“[Then maybe God sent you for me to reform! I won’t fail!]”  
“[Thank you.]” Iris whispered weakly


	7. January 14th, [REDACTED]

Iris sat on the couch in the housecoat Marie lent her, swinging her legs while Marie paced.  
“[So we know you’re good at sweeping the storefront and helping me cook, and that typically isn’t very demonic, I don’t think… And you can pray… Hmm…]” Marie took a vial of holy water out of a nearby drawer and dabbed some on Iris’s forehead  
“[... How am I supposed to respond?]” Iris asked, looking up at Marie.  
“[Well, if you’re a demon, you’ll burn up and hurt, but if you’re not… Nothing.]”  
“[Just curious, do you want a demon to reform?]”  
“[Not really- B-but if you are I’ll do my best!]”  
Iris paused, before smiling “[Then I am not! It does not hurt.]”  
Marie sighed in relief, hugging Iris close. “[S-so you lied about it hurting yesterday?]”  
“[I’m sorry, I did. I wanted to make you happy.]”  
“[What a selfless reason for a selfish action…]” Marie mused.  
“[I… I’m so sorry to be so selfish… Maybe I am a demon after all…]”  
Marie kissed Iris’s cheek and stood up “[I do not think you are, I doubt my grandmama would say the same.]”  
“[Grandma? What was she like?]”  
Marie put away the holy water and picked up a picture to show “[Angry, hateful, god-fearing. I suppose I am the same sometimes, she raised me…]” Marie’s words carried the weight that said she thought over this a lot. “[What about you? You barely talk about yourself.]”  
“[I do not have any family, Marie. I was…]” She looked around for an animal Marie would like. “[I was raised by tigers in the forest, that’s why I didn’t know anything when you found me. I forgot my own name. These clothes I took from corpses in the woods.]” Iris lied like a child, she wanted to impress Marie. They needed to stay. They needed a family.  
Marie could almost laugh. “[No you didn’t, liar!! How come you could speak French then? You’re so silly, Iris.]” She giggled.  
Iris smiled, trying to ignore her face reddening from being caught. “[You caught me… I do not remember, I only remember the day you found me.]”  
“[Maybe a doctor could help? That’s not good, I think.]” Marie checked her calender “[Oh! The perfect cure’s in town on Wednesday! The circus!]”   
“[The circus…]” Iris repeated. Marie seemed excited, so she will be excited too. “[The circus!!]”


	8. January 16th [REDACTED]

The bright lights and cacophonous sounds made Iris dizzy, squeezing Marie’s hand tighter. Marie handed over the tickets to be punched, rocking on her feet.  
“[Excited?]” Marie asked, her smile like a stage light, bright and confrontational.  
“[Yes, I suppose I am. Is it always so loud?]”  
“[It is! Everyone’s having fun!]” She squealed, pulling Iris into the tent. She passed over the ticket stub as a memento.  
Iris was dazzled by the performances, instead of animals, there were performers in costume. Beautiful tigers and strong lions. Trapeze artists, magicians, and clowns. How wonderful it would be to be in the circus, Iris thought. Perhaps she could ask Marie if she could join it.  
When they returned home, Iris tried to juggle forks, getting frustrated at her failure. “[Why isn’t it working? Why am I broken?]”  
Marie kissed Iris’s forehead “[Those guys have practiced for ages!! Why don’t we do something easier?]”  
Iris frowned, wiping her eyes on her sleeve “[Like what?]”  
Marie picked her up by the waist, to her surprise and delight and spun her “[You’ll be an acrobat instead!]”  
Iris giggled, squirming “[But I don’t know any tricks!!]”  
“[We can learn some!!]”


	9. January 27th, [REDACTED]

The Sunday after next. Iris’s baptism. She wears white robes, led to the edge of the water. She stares at it, her fear rendering her speechless. The Preacher says something she doesn’t understand. She fears the water will kill her, burn her. She fears she will die before her only friend.   
Someone reaches for her, she bolts. She holds onto Marie. “[What if I die? I will die touching this water, Marie…]” She whispered  
“[No, you’ll be okay! I’ll hold your hand.]” Marie led her back. She holds her hand tightly as Iris is dipped.  
Iris cries out, she squirms. Water fills her lungs and scares her relentlessly. She is scared of herself, so she brushes death. She is pulled out of the water, coughing and sputtering. This is her punishment for being so awful. René wouldn’t have left if they were a brother. They wouldn’t be locked so long in her room if they filled their role. What a foolish child. What an awful child. Marie looks disappointed. She really is a demon. A demon possessing Rei and hurting them. She’s the reason he isn’t a boy.  
The ride home is silent, Iris’s nose, throat, and lungs stung. What a dirty little liar she must be. Lying to Marie that she was ever good, ever worth keeping.  
“[Do you want my heart?]” Iris asked  
“[Huh? What do you mean?]”  
She took out her butterfly knife, exposing the blade. Marie pulled over “[N- Stop that!! Stop doing this to yourself!]”  
“[I failed. I wasn’t saved.]” She resisted Marie tugging the blade away, but was overpowered.  
Marie rested her chin on the steering wheel, sighing. “[I think I need to take you to the hospital. I… I’m not able to help you alone, I think. I want you to stay, though.]” Marie squeezed Iris’s hand.   
“[... I’m sorry…]” She mumbled, a bit scared of going.  
Marie pulled back onto the road, heading to the hospital instead of home. Marie said to the front desk Iris would be being admitted for attempted suicide. Iris didn’t understand what that meant, but the way they talked, it sounded bad. They waited together in the waiting room, Marie mindlessly flipping through magazines and Iris absently watched the soundless tv. They were both exhausted.  
Iris’s name was called, it seemed Marie shared her last name with the girl. Autry. Iris Autry. She was checked in and put into her room. Marie stayed by her side the whole time, so it wasn’t so bad. Marie had the unfortunate task of explaining the fact that Iris has nothing to her name, no medical records or known family.


	10. January 28th, [REDACTED]

Iris woke up at 7:00 AM, immediately looking over for Marie. She was gone. All that was left was a note in her seat. Iris’s mind raced as she started to hyperventilate, reading the note over and over again. Was Marie secretly René? Did he do this just to abandon them again? She frantically tripped out of her blankets and snatched up the medication they were prescribed, putting them in the little purse Marie got them.  
It made them shake with rage, using the things they were given. Always abandoned. They crawled out of the window, falling into the bushes below. She pulled their body out of the shrubs, pulling themself towards the parking lot, her destination the surrounding woods.   
A nurse about to enter spotted them, crying and shaking, their legs clearly injured. He knelt down, putting a hand on their shoulder “[Hey, hey, what’s going on? You should be inside.]”  
“[She left me. She left me a-and he left me, and I’m doomed to die cold and alone.]”  
The nurse sighed, easily picking up Iris. He looked at the medical bracelet she wore and brought her back to her room. “[Now, she meaning Ms. Marie Autry, correct?]”  
She nodded, trembling. “[She only left a note, she only left a note. She didn’t say goodbye.]” Iris burst into tears, hugging her blankets close.  
“[May I see the note?]” The nurse asked. Iris passed it over, her nails caked in dirt. “[Dear Iris, I am going to work, I’ll be back as soon as possible to have dinner with you. Have a good day, Marie.]” His brows furrowed “[Sounds to me like she’s returning.]”  
Iris stared at the ceiling blankly, ashamed she panicked before reading the whole note. “[What a fool I am. A clown.]” She sniffled, hiding under the blankets  
“[You aren’t a fool, you probably just need some help. Are you sure you don’t remember anything?]”  
She nodded, lying once more. If Marie found out their former father was the dangerous man in the newspapers all the time, holding hostages and sending assassins, she might get sad and leave Iris for good.  
“[Maybe talking to a Psychiatrist would help.]” The nurse patted her leg, standing up “[Breakfast should be coming soon, and then we’ll take you over. Okay?]”  
She shook her head, frightened. One of the stories they had borrowed from the home’s library while on break depicted a terrible psychiatrist, she feared being killed. “[I-I don’t wanna be murdered, please-]”  
The nurse had a strange look on his face. “[He won’t murder you, I promise. You’ll be okay.]”


	11. February 1st, [REDACTED]

The psychiatrist certainly didn’t murder her, but he didn’t help, either. She wouldn’t give any information. She doesn’t want to endanger them all. What if she got arrested? Or held hostage? What if their father found out they escaped? It was too risky to trust this stranger, so Iris waited in her blindingly white prison: The hospital room.   
She solemnly hummed a lullaby Alice used to sing them. How silly, they thought, that the youngest child was not the baby, but the broken piece of the puzzle, Reichard.  
Even without their parents, they still need to punish themself. No envy without action. No relationships that don’t benefit the family business. No running away. No anything she’s doing right now.   
That’s all right. Iris can fix this herself. She f̫̍ͣͅi͠n͏d̼͇̦͑̋͂s̲̭̤̉ͤͮ ̬͕̋ͭa ͙̲̾̈͟m̤͙͕ͥ̾̐i̡r̯͟r͔̯̮̒̅̉oͨ̅̓r̘ͮ̎ͅ ̘̞̼̀͂̚in͕̑͞ ̤ͯ͘t̮͓̏̄he̡͔ ̼̯ͩ̄ḇ̵̜̭͛ͧ̌at̔̎͡h̨͉̄r͌̽͏̬͉o̼ͩ͟õm̴̬͐.̗ͧ͝ ͝Duc͉ͯḵ̤̪ͮ̓ͭi̥nͩͧͮg̛ ͉̰̙s̮̈́͢ȯ͍ ̮͎as̴ ͘ň͚̰ͯo̺͠t̑ ̩̬ͣͧṱ̭͍̅́͒o̗͙̻̽ͦ͌ ͡s̲̪̑ͤȅ̮̝̒ḛ̵ ͚̥̩ͭ͊̅h̫̩̝e͉̞̣̔ͧ͗͟r̖͚̟͛͛̔s̅eͯlf͖,̤̳͕̍̅̑ ̪ͫ͞s͡h͕̤e̮ j̶ͮͮͬ̊ͮ͒ammed̮͉̯̅̅ͧ t͈̘͇̾̎̔͘hė̡ e̢͍̲nͯ̂͡d̨̯͖̦͈ͦ͂ͦ̒ ͏oͮ́͌̍͡fͫͦ ̪̲̟͎̐̆̇̓a͎̪̠̥͍̠̮͗ͦ̔͗̏ͩ͒͢ ̘̠͛̉to̥̯͂̾oͥ̃̅̿̎t͓͖̖ͯͥͫh̛͎̜̺̖̜b̬͈̤̟̤̓̊̑͆̄rͮ͛̔us͒̂h͈̱̠̪̙ i̡̝̟̼̯̫̭̒̃ͦ̒̊͂n̞̝̺̠ͩ̌ͥ̄ț̞͍ȏ͓ ̲̜̗̺̖͎̄̂ͦ̌̈́ͮͦͅţ̊̔͗̈́͋̋he ҉miͪ̃ͯ̉͆rͯͨ͂ͨ͒ͤr̼͖̣͉̙̲̝ͨͥ̍̓ͥ͆ͣo̫̯̤̖̱͎̤̔ͫ̔ͮ̔̈́̑r̵̜,͓̞̹̲͔̫ͥ̂̈́̈́̅̒͝ ̙͙͊͆t͒ͮ̀͑̽̐hͦͬͩͭ̀͏e ̜̗gl̹̯̣̬̟̓͒ͣ̋̿a̼̗͚͡s̰͐͝s̰͇̜͉̝͚̲ ̲̜̘̻̪ͥͯ̏̿̆fa͔̗̭̟̞͈ͦ́̔̐̃ͧ͝l̬̹̗͌̓ͬ͊ͅl̸i̤͎͞n̲͕͎g̷͎͖ͩ̆ ̸i̶̖̥ṉ͎̃ͯ ͖loͮͦ̍̽ͩ̚u̺͇̺͔̣̟ͯ̀̎͌́̊d̟͈̥͇̬͎̯̾̾̃̒ͫ̑ͤ͟ s͙̠̤͓͉̞͙̒̄̄̊̌̎͊h͔̰̝̘͓͛ͭ̄̉͆a̅͛r̼̙d̰̩͎̅ͯ́s̼ l̙͚͕̱ik͓̮̝̱̻̗̝̋̈́ͭͯͤ͗̽e ͚̗͉̹̫͈͇͐̆ͣ̌̇ͧͥả̶̬̙̤̭ͬ͑̍w̲̖͙̣ͤ̇̍̎f̲͔̪͕͎͖u̗̗̔͐l̝̫̱̼̟̫̀ͧͦͥ͛̒,͕͖̥̞͚͍ͣͬ͂̃ͥ̈ p̹̥͈̤̮̦i̴͌͗̾ͫͫ́̈e̟͉̪̫͓͇̳ͨ̄̇̌͒͛͂r͍̤̫̦c͓̟̼̻ͅi͔̭͒ͭn̜͕̳̗͍̯͞g̖͂ r͉͚ͤͭa͉͓̰͈̬̜ͫͧͣ̒͌ͥi̥̤͉̮͕̍̃̈ͮ̅n͔͜.̱̫̼ ̓͂҉͔͖T͖̱̥͙̜̱͖h̥̦͍̩̭͡ey ̂̀͊̌̃͟w͜e͊ͤ̽ͫ̊͗̊r̖̱̝̯e͙̟͔͎̱̦̙̓̏̒̈̓̋̏ ̍͋ͥ̔a̴l̟̒wͪa̽̉ͯ̒̚ẏ͇̺̞̻̀ͬ̋s̈́ͭ̃͒ͮ af̸͚r̦̀a̝̦̜͚̭̯͉̅̒̎ͮͦͬ̈́͝id͉̠̫͖͕͂ͬͭͭ̿ ͟o͓̮̳ͪ̓̈f̺̩͖̀͑͑ ͎͈̰̲͗͗̎̓s͟t͕̫̝̥ͩͩ̒͑o͈̫̞̦ͯͮ͊̏r̮̣̺̠̖̂ͭ̍̿ͫm̊̔̈́ͦ̏ͭ͡s͖ͮ͡.̇́̍͂̚ ͬ̍̐͆͡S̔̊̐̏̽́͑̃̀ͣh̷̟̳̉̑e͆̉͊́ͧͧ̉ͧ̅ͧ͌͞͏̢ ̠̣̰̓̆̚p̣̠͙̝͇͕̥̦͉̮̱͊ͯ̆̌ͧ̈ͪ̓̍̅͌͌ͅi̷̶̪̮̙̞̥̥̪͖̮̖̮͖͒͌ͣͭ̈́̇ͭ̎̈́̓͋ͮ̚ͅcͯ͏͍k͇̰̣̳ͣͨ͐̇e͢҉̩̥̪̻͖͈͔͎d̩̬̗̭̝̳̤͈̰̻͓̭̞͒ͩ͂̊̇̐ͧ̌̓ͥ̽ͩ̓ͣ͜͜ͅ ̲̗̜͖͎̣̺̩͍͓̰ͅu̝̪͈͓͎̮͚̻̯͈͖̗͚̺̇̓̄̐̒͊̀̈́ͣ͆̀ͭ̋͌̚ͅpͩ ̠̞͕̝̰͇̦̑̋̆̎̿̒ͨa̼ͦ ͕̱͇̆̈́͒̕͜d̥͎̪͓̘̻̹̪͈̯̔͆͊ͮ̉ͯ͌̃ͬ̒ạ̛͎̟͍̏ͥͮ̚g̨̭͔̺̠̪̪̼̰͕̤̲͛̈́ͦ̏͛̇͊ͬ̇͑ͬg̷̨̼̼̱̼͇̠̖͉͉̫̥̣̰̪͚̍͌͆̋̑̎̽̉͒ͣ̃͌͒̚̚ẻ͕r̵͕̳̟͇̻̯͓̟̦̰̝̣̹͊͒ͦͫ͗̆͊̾ͮ̿ͭ̇̚͘͞-̡̲̱͙͇̜l̤̗̻͔̭ͮ̾̊͗̃̒ͅi̷̾̑͑̓̌ͨke̞͖͖̠̞̭̪̖͇̭̭̮̰̱ͨ̏͛̏ͣ̍ͪ̉ͣ̊͂̃̓̃͘͠ ̶͕̤̮̩͇̮͕͇̹̰̩͍̟͇͞ͅsͬ̊̎͌ͧ͋̽̓̃̿̚ḧ̽̇ͣ̋ͧ̽̈́̉͏̜̙̙̣̰̦̰̳̺͉à͕̪̜͉̮͈͖̠̼ͣ̍̿̋ͥ̒ͬͯ̕r̵̨̹͓̯̘̤͔͞ͅd̴̓ͨ̾ͧͥ̀ͯ́.̵̙̏͘  
[FILE NOT FOUND.]


	12. February 12th, [REDACTED]

Marie crocheted beside Iris as she laid still. The white hospital walls and equipment bore holes in their eyes. It was too bright, and they almost longed for their old home.

“[Marie? When do I get to leave?]”’

“[When the doctors say so. Sorry, dear.]” Marie frowned “[Do you miss home?]”

“[I do, very much. It’s cold sleeping alone.]”

Marie reached into her bag “[Ah!! I brought something for this!!]”

“[Is it a gun?]” Iris squeaked, peeking over the covers.

Marie shook her head, the weird questions like this more concerning to her now. She pulled out a little teddy bear instead. 

“[.... What… Is that…?]”

“[You’ve never seen a teddy bear before?]”

Iris shook her head, a bit cautious. “[Is it dangerous?]”

Marie made a small whining noise, putting the plush beside Iris “[No. It’s safe. It’s just a little friend.]”

Iris carefully reached out of the blankets, poking the bear. “[Is it dead?]”

“[No, it’s not dead. It’s like… Like a pillow but bear-shaped, made for hugging. I think it might help when I have to go to work.]”

She picked it up, hesitating for a moment before hugging it to her chest and sighing. “[Thank you.]”

Marie smiled wearily. “[I’m glad you like it.]”

Iris noticed Marie fidgeting with something- An engagement ring. “[Are you getting married?]”

“[Hm? Oh- Yes, I am…]” Marie rubbed her face, the paper medical mask slightly crunching under her hand. “[I was just trying to think about how to bring it up. He’s… Really nice but he doesn’t know about you, and we wanted to have our wedding in another Country…]” Marie winced, hating having to leave Iris alone “[I’m trying to figure out how to make things work, he just… He proposed so suddenly.]” She groaned

Iris felt her heart sink. Her only friend would probably be leaving soon. Maybe staying. She’ll be alone again. They’ll be alone again. She stared at her teddy bear, not realizing she was crying until the bear had wet splotches. Iris mustered a smile “[I’m happy for you. When I get out, I’ll... ]” She giggled, wiping her eyes “[You’ll see me again when I join the circus.]”

Marie climbed over the hospital bed’s rails and hugged Iris close. Her voice is shaky when she whispers “[You’ll be my favorite performer there. I love you, Iris.]” She squeezed Iris tightly, and passed her over a wallet she prepared before coming over. 

Iris looked confused, peering inside. The money meant nothing to her, but the other item inside did. There was a photo of Marie and Iris together, smiling. She took it when they went to the circus. Iris broke into sobs, leaning against Marie “[I’ll miss you.]”

“[I’ll miss you, too.]”


	13. February 17th, [REDACTED]

They were discharged. They stood together outside of the hospital, clutching the photo of Iris and Marie.

_ “[Did I do something wrong?]” Iris frowned, watching Annabelle pace around. _

_ “[You did fine. I’m proud of you.]” Annabelle assured her, watching the lavender cloud start to form.  _

_ “[Maybe we’ll see Marie again someday, when we’re rich and famous…]” Reichard turned over on the rug. “[And she’ll be proud to have known us.]” _

_ Annabelle isn’t sure Reichard could handle being a performer, but wants to see their dreams come true. The cloud got brighter and out tumbled a young lady in her 20s. _

_ “[What’s up?]” Violet beamed, making a small grunting noise as Iris and Reichard rushed to hug her. _

_ “[Oh, good. Violet.]” Annabelle sighed in relief. The stress of watching over Iris and Rei caused her to split and make the new arrival. _

_ Violet honked a clown horn at Reichard, making them laugh “[It’s me, the clown bastard! Let’s go! We got stuff to do!]” _

__ Violet skipped forward, stretching her legs. She tucked away the photo and tossed the suitcase in the air, doing a cartwheel. Violet didn’t know Marie or that she taught them that trick, and just assumed she was a natural. To the beauty store to find what matched her, and then to the Circus!


	14. February 25th, [REDACTED]

_ Le cirque Hale's Bastards _ didn’t ask many questions, that was good. Violet didn’t remember much. She watched the others in the mirror scramble to put on their costumes while she worked on her own clown makeup. Blue heart-shaped tears, red heart-shaped lips, and purple eyelashes to match her hair. She stuck her tongue out at herself in the mirror and grinned, sitting up.

This would be her first performance, after learning some tricks and basic juggling. She was excited but nervous. The band started to play, their music blaring loudly. Showtime.

Violet waited just outside the curtain with the other clowns, fluffing her tutu. The ringmaster called and the clowns scurried out. Violet's body felt like it coursed with electricity. The crowd laughed. The crowd applauded. It didn't matter if she forgot how to juggle, she could play it off. She loved the spotlight.

When the show was over and everyone was settling down for the night, a fellow clown, Luke, spoke up.

"Good job, newbie." He smiled.

"Thank you." Violet brushed back a strand of her hair, looking up from her book. Her accent was more Russian than French, as one of the courses Rei was allowed to take before getting pulled from training was voicework.

"Boss told me to tell you we're traveling to America somewhere in the next few years. The big-boss is there and they gotta meet." Luke ran his fingers through his sandy-blond hair. "Maybe we'll do some shows. Ever been to Boston?"


	15. March 7th, 1944

Violet dragged her steamer trunk into the back of the taxi cab and buckled in, watching as the airport got smaller and smaller in the rear window. She bounced in her seat, excited to see America. Luke gently put a hand on her shoulder, laughing quietly. 

“You really ought to calm down, boss says we’re performing tonight in his absence.”

“But- But look!” They found simple wonder in seeing new places. Who could blame them?

“Wait until you find out about the beans” He teased

Violet didn’t get it, but it didn’t matter. As she stuck her head out the window, feeling the breeze and giggling, a corner store caught her eye. She’ll have to shop around this new place for sure.

They pulled to a stop at the fairgrounds and the two pay and get out. The tents are in the process of getting set up, and some of the performers are practicing. Violet gasped, seeing her tiny car. She has no formal training, car wise, but it didn’t matter for performing.

Setting her trunk on top of it, she crammed inside and drove over to the dressing tent and dropped off her stuff she’d need tonight, and drove to her hotel.

She drove on the sidewalk, listening to music when some legs stepped in her path. She rapidly braked, pulling her headphones off and sticking her head out the window “Hello?”

One of them knelt, tapping the car with his bat. “What is this? The circus in town?”

“Yes, actually!!” She beamed.

The others huddled and whispered mentioning ‘ma’ often. Annabelle felt anxious this was some sort of crime territory. A crime territory of children. Hey, they were almost in one, right?

The first boy knelt again “When? How much’re the tickets?”

“U-uh… One of the big coins- But not so big- You know? And it starts at five!!”

“... Quarter?”

“That’s it!!”

The boys huddled again, discussing quietly. Finally, the first boy crouched again “Aight, we’ll be there. I’m Ben fuckin’ Owens, nice to meetcha.”

Violet flinched “How… Old are you…?”

“Seven, why ya askin’? You’re not ma.”

“ _ Wish we could’ve swore when we were seven… _ ” She mumbled “Okay thanks bye!! I gotta go!!” She honked the horn, one of the smaller boys laughing at it and getting out of the way.

Come showtime, she bounced just outside of the big top, curious to see if those boys really would be coming as they said.

And they did. Accompanied by the prettiest woman they had ever seen. She performed extra hard that day for her, determined to make this beautiful woman smile. And they did!! By the end she was laughing along with the seven other children, save for the two babies she held.

Violet waited outside of the tent’s exit, hoping to catch the lady before she left, balancing on her unicycle. As her boys chattered, Violet playfully honked. 

The lady gasped, delightfully surprised “Oh hiya!! I loved your show!!”

“Thank you…” Violet’s eyes sparkled. Even the lady’s  _ voice _ was pretty. “I was happy to see you!!”

The lady looked worried “D-do I know you? Sorry-”

“No! … Not yet, maybe?” Violet smiled cheekily “Maybe I could take you all to dinner? Tonight?” Annabelle would be so mad at her if she weren’t busy. But Violet is in charge, and she’s making a friend.

“U-uh- Sure…?” She giggled “Y’don’t even know my name!”

“Well, I’m Violet, so…”

“Margaret.” She held out her hand, which Violet shook.


	16. March 11th, 1944

Margaret called up Violet on the phone in her hotel room, using a smidgen of free time she got from working two jobs. 

“Helloooo?” Violet’s voice cheerily poured from the receiver.

“Heya Vi. How’s it goin’?”

“It’s going okay- You sound tired, are you all right?”

Margaret sighed “I’ve been busy is all, I’ll be okay…”

Violet tried to figure out how to word her attraction. Oh, but… Maybe Margaret wouldn’t like a girl. “Aw- Do you... Want distractions?”

“That’d be great, actually!!”

Violet got a notepad and pen ready “What kinda guys d’ya like?”

Margaret was caught off guard by that, laughing quietly “You’re a strange bird, Vi, I like ya. Lessee… I like a guy… Well, I like a loyal guy. A guy who loves kids.”

Violet wrote that down. She can do that!! They can do that  _ easy _ .

“And… I like a guy who… Who finds pleasure in the little things, y’know? Stops to pick flowers an’ stuff! Feeds birds! Has fun!” Her voice is pained “Somebody like my second husband…”

“You can have  _ two _ husbands?!” Violet gasped. That sounds amazing!!

“A- I did, not at the same time, but, yeah. Y’can.”

“Did? Like the past tense?” Violet sounded a bit worried.

“Yeah, uh… One of ‘em… Died.” Margaret didn’t want to talk about her first. 

“I… I’m so sorry.” So they must make a husband for her! She needs to be happy!

“Hey! Don’t worry about it! Y’know, I got my boys, I got my pals. I’ll meet someone right, or I just won’t at all, and that’s okay!”

“Right, you’re right!!”

“Oh, sh- I gotta go, Vi, the boss wants me back, catcha later?”

“Count on it!” Violet nodded to no-one in particular. 

The two hung up and Violet flopped on the bed, heading to the cabin.

_ Violet pulled aside Iris while Annabelle was napping. “Iris, I need your help. I need to make a guy.” _

_ “One of us? I don’t think I could just… Make someone…” _

_ “Doesn’t have to be! I just need a character to play!! Oi, Rei!” She gestured for Rei to come over. _

_ Rei came over. “It’s about Margaret, right? Oh, I wish I was a boy…” _

_ “We’ll make a boy!! Annabelle doesn’t gotta know! Got any good names?” _

_ “How about Garrett?” _


	17. March 14th, 1944

‘Garrett’ strode into the diner Margaret worked at and took a seat on one of the counter stools. Margaret smiled at the newcomer and slid him a menu.

“Merci” Garrett nodded. It’s easier to use their natural voice. He studied it, glancing up at Margaret once or twice. She was glancing at them too, Rei was excited. “W- I’ll take the… Omelette. And some coffee, please.”

Margaret smiled, writing that down “You got it sugar, anythin’ else? Want some toast and jam with that?” Something about him was so familiar, yet so new. She realized with a pain in her heart she was attracted. She hoped she could stifle it. She has jobs to do.

“Well, you’ve talked me into it, I think I will… ‘Sugar.’” He winked, handing back the menu.

Her heart fluttered, going to the back. She shouldn’t be charmed, she shouldn’t be flirting, but god, she couldn’t help herself. She brought the food out and his coffee, the napkin she gave him contained her number.    
_ Violet danced around the room, giving Iris a twirl and dipping Reichard. “We did it!! We did it, we did it, we did it!!!” _

_ “Did what?” Annabelle bounced a near-formless child in her arms, nothing more than a blanket and cat ears. _

_ Violet froze in place “Weee ordered breakfast!! Wooo!!!” Violet tried to lie. _

_ “I thought I told you Margaret could be dangerous, why are you trying to get Rei to date her? Do you want us killed?” _

_ “B-but she’s so nice! And I want to!” _

_ “Every time you get attracted it goes South, or did you forget Marie?” _

_ Reichard clenched their fist “What’s the point of living if I don’t get to do anything?” _

_ “The point is keeping you safe!” Annabelle’s bottom lip trembled, frustrated and afraid. _

_ Reichard hung their head in shame, not wanting to see how Annabelle was worked up “Please don’t be mad… I just… I really like her. She’s smart and funny and she likes me, too! I read about fairytale romances so much when we were younger, I want to be in one!” _

_ Annabelle sighed, looking down at the child, who lightly tugged at her hair “... She’s on thin ice, but she may stay. If she ever hurts you I’m taking over and getting us out of there, understood?” _

_ “Yes, ma’am!! T-thank you so much!!” Rei hugged her, the child she held floating away, not wanting to be touched. _

Ah… Their food had gotten cold. No matter.


	18. March 19th, 1944

Violet and Rei waited patiently in front of the movie theater for Margaret, their outfit for Garrett nice and pressed. Annabelle worried that Margaret might have stood them up, but as her car pulled up it was clear. It was time.

“Enchante, my queen.” Garrett bowed to her. Margaret giggled, hugging them.

“Heya cutie! What’re we seein’ tonight?”

“Whatever you wish. Anything your heart desires.”  _ Because we can’t pick for ourselves. _

Margaret looked at the posters hanging outside “Hmm… The Uninvited looks good!”

_ “Can we handle a scary movie?” Violet asked Rei. _

_ “You need to! For her! Be the man she wants!” Iris encouraged. _

“The uninvited it is, ma cheré.” Garrett nodded, taking her hand and purchasing the tickets. 

They spoiled her with snacks and went into the proper theater. They were easily frightened, to say the least. While Margaret was enthralled, Rei sat there shaking in their seat. Margaret noticed and offered them a smile, holding their hand tightly to comfort them.

When the movie was over they exited the theater, Rei noticed she had barely touched her candy.

“Feeling well, my dear?” Garrett asked “You haven’t eaten more than a few pieces of your candy.

“O-oh, um…” She flushed, embarrassed “I was just savin’ some for my boys.”

The boys. Her sons. They barely knew them and were already so fond of them. “Why don’t we go pick them each out some candy of their own then, dear?”

“Aw, you don’t gotta do all that.”

“I insist.” Garrett squeezed her hand, flashing her a confident smile

“All right, but you gotta get some too!” She pretended to get huffy, passing them a coin for it.

They haven’t earned candy. They’ve been nothing but ungrateful. Selfish. Nothing more than a little monster to be locked away. Ombre told them that before Annabelle told them off. But Ombre was right.

“... Garrett?” Margaret asked softly, still holding the coin.

They shook their head “Apologies, my dear, I don’t know what came over me. W- I.. Am on a diet. No candy for me.”

She doesn’t know if she buys it but she lets it go. “Well, I’ll just getcha next time, ‘kay?”

“Best of luck with that.” They tease, kissing her hand. 

The two go pick out candy and Rei pays. They walk the streets together, mostly quiet. Rei looks over their shoulder, feeling dread. They are watched. Their father said so. They are  _ always _ watched.

“Didja like the movie, hon?” Margaret tries, worried about her new boyfriend.

“I did. Very frightening. Trespassing on the dead’s property is so egregious.”  _ And I’m sorry for trespassing on your time. _

__ “Do you get trespassers?” Her brows pushed upwards in concern, shivering slightly. Garrett automatically wrapped their jacket around her shoulders.

“No, no, I just… Can imagine.”  _ I can imagine how I, a wretched serpent, would slither onto the minds of people’s brains, bringing about a plague most wretched. I am a disease. An illness. Why was I born? _

“You must have such an active imagination! Are you an artist?” She smiled softly, imagining Garrett painting in her home, filling the halls with lovely colors.

“Why, yes! I am!” They lie, deciding they need to learn how to paint. They check their watch that they borrowed from Luke. “My goodness, the time… I ought to be going now, but parting with you is like a knife to the heart.”

“Aw shucks, already?” She pouted, mostly out of playfulness.

“I am afraid so, my dear.” They sigh, before being caught up in a kiss by Margaret. 

“Love ya, handsome.” Margaret beamed, heading to her car.

Garrett waved as she drove away, before running to their room, needing to change quickly and show up to practice for the circus. They’ll arrange punishment for themself later.


	19. March 24th, 1944

Rei stared down at the paints they had just bought, the blank canvas over its towel. They needed to know how to paint. So what’s stopping them? Ah, right. The crippling fear of failure. Their old nemesis.  
They close their eyes, pick a paint tube, and open it, squeezing the vibrant blue onto the pallet. They brushed it onto the canvas and tried not to break away and destroy all of their things right then. This isn’t for them. This is for her. So… So it should be destroyed even more. It’s awful. One stroke and it’s unsalvagable. How on earth would they ever impress her?  
They splotch red directly on the canvas, stabbing at it with the brush. The metal ripped through the taut canvas and painted the towel, they can’t stop themself, imagining instead of the canvas it’s themself they’re destroying. With each stab they imagine themself being replaced with Garrett, being perfect. Being the perfect man. Being René.  
When Annabelle finally stops them, they realize their hand has gone numb from holding it so tightly. The skin was broken from where their nails dug into their palms. And they are still only them. It isn’t fair. Maybe they’ll just pretend they’re an artist and come up with excuses why she couldn’t see it.


	20. May 9th, 1944

Margaret beamed, leading Garrett down the cement pathway to her house. It looked a bit worse for wear, boards and plywood nailed to certain parts and drawn on by children with chalk and coal.

“So, just before ya come in, I’ve taken in some boarders here, so if there’s any strangers around that’s why.” She explained, to which Garrett nodded.

“Do you need help with repairs? It looks a bit… Ah, well-loved let’s say.” Garrett mused, almost immediately getting hit in the head with a small beanbag. “Nnf-” He rubbed his head with a gloved hand, looking for the source. Ah… Margaret’s children, snickering from upstairs.

“Boys! Don’t shoot at Garrett!” Margaret scolded, before turning to Garrett with a nervous laugh “Sorry, they don’t like it when I see new guys very much. It’s sweet how protective they are, but I hope that won’t getcha upset.”

“No, no, it’s perfectly understandable. I’m sure they’re quite sweet.” He dismissed it with a wave of his hand, following her inside.

Children were running down the hall loudly, wearing homemade costumes and playing a story unknown to anyone but them. Rei was terribly jealous, and yet… Happy. Those children got what they never had. With a funny twist in their heart, they realized how badly they wanted children of their own, and… They hoped they could with Margaret.

They were introduced to everyone at the dinner table, getting teased by the boys quite a lot but trying not to let it get to them. People asked about his gloves, they tried to dodge the questions, getting more teases and jabs. She invited him to stay the night and they accepted.

“So, what d’ya think?” She asked, changing into a nightgown as Garrett covered his eyes.

“I love it. I love you.” He responded, slightly muffled by his hands.

Margaret turned, giggling “Honey, you don’t gotta do that, I don’t mind!”

“I’m glad you don’t, but everyone deserves their privacy.”  _ Ironic… _ They thought.  _ A child of espionage valuing privacy. _

“Well, you’re sweet, but I’m done now.” She brushed her hair, sitting beside him on the bed as he peeked, before dropping his hands. “Ya gonna take off your coat and shoes, baby?”

Garrett paused, flustered “Apologies.” He unbuttoned his coat and vest, and slipped off his shoes.

“Hey, nothin’ to apologize for!” She smiled, pulling him to come lay down beside her, spooning him.

He smiled softly, closing his eyes. “Then… Good night, my dear. Thank you for welcoming me into the family.” He kissed her cheek.

“Guessin’ I won’t getcha to remove your gloves, huh?” She teased

“Perhaps another day” He chuckled softly.

She closed her eyes “That’s all right, you can take your time. Good night, honey.”

“Good night.”


	21. July 15th, 1944

It all started with an innocent question. “Oh, Vi! Can I introduce you to my boyfriend sometime?” Was all she had asked. All she had to do to send the crumbling remains of Rei into a tumbling avalanche of sobs and apologies.

“W-what’s goin’ on, hun? You okay? Didja get hurt?” Margaret asked gently, trying to calm them down. 

“Je suis désolé d'avoir menti, c'était un accident !” They sobbed, slamming their head into the bedframe.

“Vi?? G- _ Garrett? _ Honey, you’re gonna need to take a deep breath and explain this t’ me.”

They did as they were told, their chest heavy and breath shaky. “I’m sorry. I’ve been lying. I-I’m Violet and Garrett. I’m very sorry.”

“Care to elaborate, hun? And what do I call ya, now?”

“My name is Reichard. I joined the circus as a girl named Violet and then I met you. I wanted to impress you. I understand wanting to leave.” Rei sniffled, guilt ripping through them down to their very bones.

Margaret exhaled deeply. “I’m not gonna leave, but… I wanna know you. The real you. I’m comin’ over to your hotel room after work, okay?”

More mumbled apologies as their hands shook with fear, dreading being burned again. The waves of anxiety silenced the others in the cabin, forming brick walls no one could cross yet. Ah, but that’s all they deserve. “... Yes ma’am. Sorry ma’am.” They hung up

Margaret knocked on the door, and with hesitation, Rei answered. No makeup, no disguise. They were tired and pale, almost sickly. Their hair was long and untamed, like they gave up brushing their hair 5 minutes in. Their eyes were wild and restless, set deep and surrounded by dark circles.

“... Rei, honey, you okay?” Margaret put a warm hand on their forehead to check their temperature.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Margaret, you can burn my hands. It needs to be done.” They mumbled, voice hollow and distant. Margaret looked shocked, seeing their hands gloveless, the scarred flesh and bloody fingernails. They were wearing the same horrid hand-me-downs from their brother, it couldn’t hide the patternless and messy scars covering their forearms.

“Baby, no… No, no, who did this to ya?” She gently wrapped them in her arms.

“I did. It’s all my fault. I’m sorry I tricked you into being my friend.” Rei’s tears ran freely, as they did most days.

As Margaret held them tightly, she saw their room. There was a strange medley of items. Pillows and blankets, carnival toys, garbage, books, makeup, wigs and costumes, clothes, broken and ripped canvases with a small mess of paint, but none ever encroaching it’s designated tarp.

“It ain’t your fault. This… You need to talk, baby, talk to me. I’m here for you.” Margaret gently ushered them to the bed.

“But if you’ll talk you’ll leave, I-I don’t want to go back to the hospital.”

“No one’s takin’ ya to the hospital, okay? Only if you get hurt.”

Rei swallowed hard. “... Okay.”

And they told her the truth, she listened in concern. She felt awful for them. She gently cupped their cheek and kissed their forehead.

“Your dad was dumb, anyhow baby. You look lovely in a dress. So, uh… Is anyone else around?” Margaret smiled shyly, giving a little wave.

And in a jarring flash, Rei was no longer crying as Annabelle came to the front. “Margaret.” She nodded quietly, her voice soft and warm, her posture straight.

“Oh, damn! Okay! Hiya, who’s this?” She giggled, unsure how to react.

“Annabelle. My apologies for the mess, I haven’t been out in a while, and Violet was never the tidy type.”

“So, Violet’s there too? Is Garrett?” Margaret asked, wanting to know more, to love and understand all parts of Rei.

“Garrett was a fabrication, I believe. Someone Rei and Violet wanted to play because they had a crush on you. They wanted to craft a ‘perfect husband’.” Annabelle started to brush their hair, since someone here needs to take care of the body.

“... Aw shucks… As sweet as that is though, I think I like them both better.” Margaret had a lot to think about. She was hurt by being lied to, but couldn’t really be mad at the meek host of a small system. Not to mention she was a bit attracted to Violet, too. She needed to think.

“You seem distracted. Anything on your mind?” Annabelle gently untangled a small rat’s nest in their hair.

“I just need ta think’sall. I think the boys will be happy though, they never really liked Garrett” She giggled.

“Yes, well. I could not blame them. It is only natural.”

Margaret bit at her lip “... I… I do still love ya all, though. I know that for sure. Just don’t keep any secrets and maybe things will be okay… Maybe.”


	22. September 8th, 1944

“Do you really love me, still?” Rei asked again, looking in the fitting room mirror at Margaret, who zipped up the dress they were trying on. Margaret laughed, kissing their cheek.

“Honey, I haven’t kicked ya out yet, have I? Of course I do.  _ Damn- _ Most ladies would kill for a figure like yours…” She admired them over their shoulder.

“I don’t want to die” They squeaked, latching onto their girlfriend’s arm.

“N-no, sorry, it’s an expression sweetie.” She chuckled “It just means ya look great. Ya see what eatin’ regularly does for you?” Margaret teased them.

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” Reichard gently swished their skirt, admiring themself. It reminded them of that moment, that terrible day. The calm before the storm. But this time was different. She kept them safe.

“So, uh… The kids’re out today, and the boarders are workin’...” She started, tracing their collarbone.

“Yes, I recall.” They had moved in with her instead of the hotel room as she had offered.

“So…” Margaret continued. “Y’wanna get a little saucy?” She winked.

“Saucy?” Rei asked, confused. She paused.

“Oh… Oh, right, you wouldn’t…” Margaret flushed “Gosh, I’m sorry, I meant somethin’, uh… We’ll discuss it at home. We don’t gotta do anythin’, either, but, y’know, it’s good to discuss it.” She cleared her throat.

“Am I in trouble?” They asked quietly.

“No, no honey. Your parents, maybe, but not you.” She stroked their cheek as they changed back into the clothes they wore to the store, a pale blue sweater, jeans, and flats.

They paid and drove home, Reichard anxious about what they would talk about. Margaret sat them down in her bedroom, giving them the talk they never had. They were terribly embarrassed to never know and never ask, but now that they understood her meaning, they were willing to try. It was casual, a bit awkward, but they fell asleep together, content.


	23. September 15th, 1944

Margaret shook Rei awake, making them sit up in panic.

“Hun, I think I’m pregnant.” Margaret had a cautious smile on her face, bouncing on her toes as she held the test in her hands.

Rei groggily switched on the lamp. “On a fait un bébé?” They asked softly, getting the wind knocked out of them with a hug from margaret.

“We’re havin’ a baby!!” She confirmed gleefully. Rei gently wrapped their arms around her, smiling. “You’re gonna be a parent, Rei!”

“But I thought I already was…” they pondered, confused. Margaret pulled away, cupping their face in her hand.

“You are, but now you’re gonna be around to watch a kid grow up from the beginnin’. Sh-should we get married? Ya wanna get married?” Margaret giggled, euphoric from the love un-tarnished by past hurt she had right now.

“I-I would like to get married” They whispered, flushing deeply. Getting married seemed like a far-off fantasy for so long, a mere daydream, and now the woman they loved was asking  _ them _ . “Let’s get married!” They flapped their hands, smiling so wide their face could barely contain it.


End file.
